Letting Go

Here I am again faced with letting go. Even as I continue to grieve and work on letting go of my husband's life on this earth, I'm faced with letting go of a relationship. I have no control over other people and it takes two to make a relationship. The fact that I once again thought I could do it all is not lost on me. I got swallowed up and instead of relaxing and letting go, I pulled the reins tighter. I was trying to force it, to make it work. Relationships don't work like that. So now, I have to let go and let him find his answers. I couldn't grieve for him, I couldn't make it all better. I couldn't love him enough so that he could heal from his past relationship. He must love himself enough to become willing to move forward. I pray for him everyday. But now, I have to focus on myself. I have a lot of healing to do and a lot of living to do. This man taught me to be more open to life, more accepting and more compassionate. He also taught me once again that I didn't cause it, can't control it, and can't cure it -- whatever the problem is that is out of my hands. Now, I'm trying to love and forgive myself. If the worse I did was love too much, can I live with that? I think so. Forgiving him may be harder, but for now I'll ask God to forgive him for me. And I'll keep putting one foot in front of the other. Once again, a little stronger from the battle. Sometimes I feel like a warrior, but God is my strength and through him, I can do all things.